Ashley's Short Stories

A Would Be's Letter

2008-06-09T11:41:00.000-07:00

You couldn't possibly know who I be
Who I be? Let's just say I'm that baby inside your body
Thump Thump
Feel that?
It's the heartbeat that interconnects the maternal
to the fetal
Ties the sweet soul of you - and me
I be?
Well let's say I was
I was the gift from God, or supposedly so
But no more, now I'm just another life lost
Slipping through the hands, the sand of time gone away
Myself never to come, never to stay
Gone
thump thump

Who I be, well, I just happen to be your child lady
Or at least, i was supposed to be
Too late now though
Seems you turned from friend to foe
What a spit in the face mom!
what a blow...
To know, to know that I was, how you say
"something in the way..."
Excuse me miss, but I wasn't there when you decided to lay
down
You actions wiped my smile into a frown
My crown of life knocked away
Never to come, never to stay
gone...thump thump
Did my father have a say in this matter? or rather,
that's right, it doesn't matter - over the cries and clatter
of the news of my existence
it exposed resistence in that coward
rather be a boy than be a man - packed up his life and ran
as fast as he can away...and now I lay gone
You have the nerve to take what God felt I deserved...life??
Who are you to choose for me, mommy?
Now I'm stirred into oblivion
trapped in nothingness...never to belong
always to be gone
And there you lay with regret in your face, tears in your eyes
such a disgrace and to your utter surprise
you find that life ain't what you planned it to be

and now look at you
huh, look at me.... what a sight are we, eh?
both of us, never to come
never to stay
thump thump

Cambodian Child Soldier

2008-04-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

Little child, beautiful child
Why do you carry that gun?
Your hands are far too innocent
For the actions committed with one

Little child, beautiful child
Why are your eyes so dry?
Can you not perceive the hurt
Caused by your heartless war cry?

Little child, beautiful child
You know not what you do
Your heart can harbor no feeling
And we can’t expect it to

Little child, beautiful child
We did not come to your side
We studied your callous face
And yet idly stood by

Little child, beautiful child
This tragedy is not your fault
The only choice was to kill
To escape your own assault

And now little child
You beautiful child too sweet
Where is your loving heart?
Vanished
Without a trace
Without a beat

Statements of Belief

2008-03-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

Since almost everything I write about hinges on my belief in God, I thought it a logical idea to actually explain what I believe in. To put it as simply as possible, I hold to the beliefs of a Reformed Baptist which basically means that I side with traditional Baptists views but also accept the teachings of John Calvin. I also adhere to the 1689 Baptist Confession of Faith, and the Westminster Confession of Faith. Instead of making this a terribly long post, I'll just post the links to both confessions below.

Those confessions eloquently map out my belief and I doubt I could do any better. Along with these I'll add the Calvinist side of my convictions.

Five Solas

1) Sola Scriptura - I believe only the Bible as God's inspired and written word. I also believe that it is the only source for Christian doctrine, is self-interpreting, and thus needs no affirmation from any other source. 2 Tim. 3:16, "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness..."

2) Sola Fide - I believe that salvation is by faith alone given by God and is in no way merited by man. Gal 3:11, "Now it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law, for 'The righteous shall live by faith.'"

3) Sola Gratia - I believe that salvation comes by God's unmerited favor and is only accessible through His grace. Eph. 1:7-8, "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us..."

4) Solus Cristus - I believe that Jesus Christ is the only mediator between God and man and is the only way of salvation. Acts 4:11-12, "Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”

5) Soli Deo Gloria - I believe that all glory is to God and Him alone. Rom 11:36, "For from Him(God) and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen."

TULIP

Total Depravity - I believe that all men are sinful and are not able to please God or merit salvation through themselves. Men, in their complete enslavement to sin, cannot ever choose to follow God apart from His efficacious grace. Rom 8:7-8, "For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God."

Unconditional Election - I believe that God has predestined a people for salvation, a choice that is not depended on the supposed righteousness of a person or the foreseen merit or faith in a person. Eph. 1:4-5, "even as He(God) chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will..."

Limited Atonement - I believe that Christ's death was atonement for an elected people and not atonement for the whole world. This is the most controversial and requires multiple references. Matt 7:13-14, "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. John 10:27-28, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. . I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand."

Irresistible Grace - I believe that God's grace, when effectually applied to an individual, cannot be resisted. Instead, the work of grace changes that person's heart so that they desire God's grace. John 6:37, "All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and whoever comes to Me I will never cast out."

Preservation of the Saints - Your eyes aren't deceiving you..I did write preservation, not perseverance. I believe that the genuine believer cannot and will never be able to fall away from salvation. I changed the word because perseverance can give the image that saints in themselves persevere to the end. Rather, we are preserved by God to the end, for if it was depended on ourselves, we'd fall away quite quickly. Phil. 1:6, "And I am sure of this, that He(God) who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

So there you are, my beliefs in a nutshell. However, I do not allow my personal convictions to separate me from other believers of different convictions. I hope that all do the same.

Solus Christus,
Ashley

http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/1689_Baptist_Confession_of_Faith
http://www.reformed.org/documents/index.html?mainframe=http://www.reformed.org/documents/westminster_conf_of_faith.html

Pursuing Godly Sibling Relationships

2008-03-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

“Mom…could you please tell Justin to leave me alone?!”
“Ashley, get out of my room!!!”
“Stop it Justin, I was watching that! I was here first!”

Sound familiar? I’m sure it does if you have a member of the species around you that many call siblings. Most of us have the specie sibling in our midst, bothering us at every turn, annoying us in every way, shape, and form, but what exactly is this organism known as the sibling?

A sibling is defined as one of two or more individuals having one or both parents in common. Though that’s the most obvious definition, I seem to extract a different connotation. Most times, I feel that the definition is a means by which one loses any hope of sanity; one you often wished did not have one or both parents in common (syn.: obnoxious). Sure, I’m being a little tongue-in-cheek there, but you can relate. Sibling relationships can be pretty tough, but apparently they can’t be weaseled out of, so the best thing to do is make it as good as it can possibly be.

Most siblings strongly dislike each other; I believe hate is a little too extreme of a word to even imply facetiously. Mind you, we always love each other, in the sense that they’re our siblings so we feel obligated to. I’ve often declared to my parents that I always love Justin, but he’s not exactly on my Christmas list all the time. Such feelings are understandable, people can be a tad annoying and when you’re around such people every hour of the day, it’s indubitable that some form of strife will arise every now and then. That’s pretty normal. Only thing wrong with this is that we’re Christians, so we’re not what? Normal.

Uh oh… that poses a little problem with my previous connotation of a sibling. A sibling isn’t just one of two or more individuals having one or both parents in common, nor is it just someone that causes you to lose all sanity. Whether we admit it or not, a sibling is someone that God has sovereignly placed in our lives until our deaths. One could assume that such an extensive relationship must be pretty important than, right? It is, beyond what we could fathom. Think of the influences we have on each other as siblings. Usually if Justin told me to do something, or told me some sort of information, I quickly took him upon his word and accepted it as fact. He’s my big brother, so naturally I feel an inclination to submit to his authority every once in a while, as I should. Speaking truthfully, this authority is often used in the wrong way, but since I’m still alive and intact, he obviously didn’t take it too far. Joking aside, we all have an inbred attachment to our siblings, an attachment that can either do us harm or help.

If we have that serious of an influence on anyone, we should want to affect them spiritually. It is one thing to have a relationship with brothers and sisters where we hang out together, randomly go places together, those sorts of wonderful things. They’re all great, marks of a beautiful relationship, but it isn’t all that God has intended for us to share. Not only are we attached biologically, physically, and emotionally. We’re also attached spiritually, the most significant of all.

Sibling Rivalry

Justin and I never got too many spankings from dad, but the ones we lovingly received, we remember with stark clarity. There’s one that I have the most recollection of, possibly because it’s the one that taught me one of the greatest lessons everyone should learn. Justin and I were fighting over something, who knows what, more than likely something extremely mundane and petty. We became apparently angry with each other, and some punches we’re possibly thrown. Then we heard it, the sound of dad having “enough”. I knew what I was getting spanked for, I was fighting with Justin. I didn’t understand its significance at that time. Personally, I thought dad was going a little too far. We were just fighting, everyone does it. Well newsflash, just because everyone does it doesn’t make it right. If there was ever something I know my dad to hate, it’s when Justin and I would argue, pick, and fight. He could tolerate some things, but he wasn’t going to have us being hateful to each other.

Honestly, I didn’t always like Justin. There were times where I truly, extremely closely, hated him. It’s natural right? Yeah, it’s natural, it’s sin also. 1 John speaks a lot of loving and hating your brother. Granted, this is directed to a spiritual brother, but the same can be applied to a biological one. “Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.” Perhaps the greatest is found in chapter 4, verse 20, “If anyone says, ‘I love God’ yet hates hisbrother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” If I can’t love Justin, who I’ve known and seen for almost seventeen years, how can I possibly love God, who I’ve never seen and have only known savingly for three? I couldn’t. Just as I love and devote myself to Christ, I should also love and devote myself to my brothers and sister.

The Responsibility of Sibling Relationships

The Word of God often calls us to sharpen our brothers and sisters in Christ, edifying each other in our growth in Him. I have to believe that though the term “brothers and sisters” specifically meant “in Christ”, who’s to say that it doesn’t apply to biological brothers and sisters? We must assume responsibility in growing with our biological brothers and sisters in Christ, just as we are called to do with our spiritual brothers and sisters. This includes partaking in activities such as reading the Word of God together, studying and pointing out things to aid each other. If we don’t assume this responsibility with our own siblings, how will we ever be able to assume the responsibility with people we’re not even truly related to? We couldn’t, and if we ever were able to pull it off, it would be total hypocrisy. Yes, they’re special cases where siblings are not all Christians, thus this doesn’t exactly apply. I’m forced to assume that most of the audience, however, is made up of godly brothers and sisters. If I’m wrong, then you’re wasting quite some time reading something that’s useless to you. If I’m right, continue on.

1 John 4:21 says, “Whoever loves God must also love his brother.” Sure, this was directed to the church, a group of spiritual brothers and sisters, but the same can be applied to the biological sphere. I can’t love God if I don’t love my two brothers and sister. It’s too inconsistent. If I claim I love them, that love can’t be stagnant where I don’t show it either. Study together, teach each other, learn from each other, and your relationships will enhance far greater than they are now. Nothing brings two or more people closer together than growing closer to Christ hand in hand. That journey isn’t only partaken in marriage. It’s applied to all lasting relationships, and if you think about it, your siblings are around much longer than your husband or wife will ever be, which sort of brings me to my next point.

Siblings Relationships Affect Every Other Relationship, Including Marriage

I’ve already talked about the powerful influences we have on each other, good and bad. Now we can see the practical implications of those influences. Let’s take the example that I’m horribly mean to Justin, I scoff at him every time he’s around, and I look down upon him and never encourage him for better (inconceivable, I know, but just try your hardest to imagine.) I always tell him that he’ll never amount to anything, and he’ll never be able to satisfy any woman on the planet. What sort of influence would that have on him? I remember Justin and I constantly singing that dangerously false rhyme to one another, the one that goes like, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I can show you how my behavior as a measly little sister can have on my big brother. He’ll go out and find a woman who is exactly like I am, expecting all women to be the way I was, and he finds himself married to an old, bitter, and cynical woman who he should have never approached in the first place.

Imagine if Justin walked around with his pants hanging from his behind, treating young women like objects, spewing derogatory names to them, and going on and on in that behavior. Thankfully, God extremely blessed me with two brothers who dress better than I do, so I never had any of those problems, but what if? After having living with that for years, I’d go out and find someone just the same, because it’s what I’ve grown to expect.

Now let’s flip them around briefly. If I’m a godly example of a modest young woman who is in love with Christ, and if I am pursuing primarily a relationship with Him, then Justin is extremely likely to go out and find that sort of woman, and let it be noted that that will be the only woman I shall give my approval to. If Justin is the godly example of a respectable young man who is in love with Christ, and who is pursuing primarily a relationship with Him, then I’m also extremely likely to meet someone the same way.

Conclusion

We’re in each other’s lives for all the time we have here on this earth. We will never know anyone as long and as intimately as we know our siblings. If we’re going to be stuck with this species for that long of a time, we may as well embark on a journey together, growing in Christ, building each other up in Him, representing the godly examples of men and women, the examples that God called us to be. I find it impossible to believe that Justin, Chaz, and Keya just happened to be my siblings. God put those three people in my life for a reason, a purpose, and I believe that purpose is to not only pursue a lasting physical and emotional attachment with each one, but also a spiritual relationship that will be so much deeper, so much more loving, so godly that His amazing love will shine bright through our relationships. He’ll see the beautiful communion of the Trinity in us and be glorified, as He should be, as He destined Himself to be, as we are honored to display Him to be.

Take it seriously brothers and sisters. Embrace the chance of glorifying God in yet another way that He graciously gives us. Love your brother, love your sister, and love them more than just out of obligation. Disregard that biologically you’re stuck with them. Rather, uphold them in a sense where they are not only genetically given to us, but acknowledge that they are first spiritual brothers and sisters and accept the task that God has given us, to, “help each other do what is right and build one another up in the Lord”.

Womanhood: As God Defined and Ordained It

2008-03-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

Genesis 2:21-23 portrays the first appearance of woman. After God had saw that Adam was in need of a helper, and found none suitable, He caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. We all know how the rest of the story plays out. Woman is created from one of Adam’s ribs, Adam looks upon his companion and displays his immediate love for her by naming her Woman, and describing his love by the romantic discourse found in verse 23. They are then united as one in the eyes of God.

In verse 19, we find that God decides to give Adam a helper. The noun helper is defined as a person who contributes to the fulfillment of a need or furtherance of an effort or purpose. This person, this helper, this assistant, holds a subordinate position. The helper is not any less valuable or esteemed less worthy. He or she simply exhibits a less authoritative disposition. With this holding as definition for the word helper, Eve is made an assistant to Adam, equally worthy, equally valuable, but still subordinate in her position.

We all are well aware what happens next, not just because we read it, but because it is displayed in our lives every day. The fall occurs. Satan, disguised as a serpent, goes to Eve. Notice that he does not initially go to Adam. Knowing that Eve would be an easier target and knowing her influence over her husband, he goes to her instead. At this time, we already see a disruption in God’s ordained roles for men and women. What Satan expected, was exactly what Satan received. Eve ate, and her influence over Adam caused him to partake also, not excusing his responsibility to exercise leadership over Eve.

The discourse between God and our first parents is found in verses 8-19. Notice that God does not call for the Woman, her name not yet being Eve, but first calls for Adam. God is omniscient, He is fully aware that Eve sinned first. However, this still does not excuse Adam’s responsibility.

But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?" He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid." And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?" The man said, "The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."

Now Adam, feeling totally innocent, puts the blame on the Woman. “Well God, you put her here with me. I didn’t ask for her presence. She made me do it.” How often do we say that? Then God turns to the Woman, using the word “turn” loosely, and asks for her explanation.

Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?"
The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."

The Woman finds herself innocent and casts the blame on the serpent. Even though she is totally responsible for her own sin, she uses the ever so popular excuse that we all have uttered once in our lives…”Well, the devil made me do it.” Despite the foolishness of this statement, God turns to the serpent and curses him first and goes down the line of blame from there. The serpent is cursed above all other animals, being made to crawl on its belly and eat dirt for its entire time of being. This causes us to conclude that serpents weren’t always the slithering reptiles that they appear to be now. The serpent is then put at enmity with the Woman. Now maybe I’m reading too much into this statement, but maybe that explains why the majority of women are terrified of snakes.

Hidden in the second part of that statement is a glimmer of hope for mankind. God speaks of one who will be an offspring of the Woman and who will crush the serpent’s head. Christ will crush the serpent’s head but we must not neglect the second part where it says “and you will strike his heel.” The serpent will only strike the Savior, but the Savior will crush and defeat the serpent. In all cases, we would rather be struck than crushed. That’s going off on a tangent, so back to the discourse. God, after speaking to the serpent, turns to the next guilty party, the Woman.

To the woman he said,
"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you."

This is where I’ll stop in the chapter. In the first part of the curse, God tells the Woman that she will experience greater pain in childbearing. This causes us to conclude that there was already pain. The description “greatly increase” means that some degree of pain was already evident. One cannot increase wealth without money to begin with. Pain cannot increase where none exists. So ladies, we cannot blame our pain in childbirth on the Woman totally. It was already there. She just made it worse, and it’s just as much our faults today as it was hers then, more so to be precise.

Next comes the big one, the curse that’s so obvious in our culture today. “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” Oh how true that statement turned out to be. Our desire will be for our husbands. I’m not a fan of the term, “desire will be for”. It doesn’t clearly show what God means unless you’re some sort of scholar of Hebrew terminology. This seems to simply say that we will desire our husbands. That doesn’t sound much like a curse to me. God must mean, then, something else when He says that. He means that we will desire an authoritative role but by divine design, our husband will hold that role.

We see this evident in our culture today. Feminism has become one of the biggest movements ever to sweep across the United States of America. The Feminist movement had purer motives during its first wave. Early feminists included the likes of Emmeline Pankhurst who began the Women’s Social and Political Union in Great Britain, Emma Goldman, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Dame Ethel Mary Smyth, and Margaret Sanger. These women fought for opportunities to educate females, and to hold a more respectable and worthy position in society. I find nothing wrong with these causes, but it is the beginning of the 2^nd wave that brings the purer feminism to a halt.

The Second Wave Feminist movement seeks ungodly roles for men and women. To be more precise, they seek to totally diminish and dismiss the fact that there is any difference between woman and man. They fight for things such as abortion rights, “sexual liberation”, and pursue the furtherance of the Queer Theory, a theory that dismisses any difference between the sexes. These feminists show with precision that our desire will be to obtain authoritative positions.

Let’s look at the role of the woman as God ordained it in Proverbs 31. In verse 10 we are told that a godly, noble woman is hard to find. So hard, in fact, that when found, she should be valued more than rubies. This dismissed the notion that women are somehow less valuable than men. She brings good to her husband, he delights in her. She is not lazy or careless, but knows how to work with her hands. She provides food for her household. She is not left out of the business and financial side of the marriage, but eagerly participates, although the husband makes the final decisions. She is strong and works hard, gentle and cares for the welfare of others. This woman even has a sense of humor that is to be valued. Not only does she have a sense of humor, but she is wise and is in possession of faithful instruction, ready to share that wisdom and give that instruction to younger women. She is not idle, but vigorously watches over the affairs of her household. She is not self absorbed but fears the Lord. This is the portrait of womanhood as God defined it.

Because of the curse where we will desire authority, this virtuous woman is hard to portray. Instead many women go totally against God’s design, and seek roles such as pastors and elders, positions that are clearly prescribed to men and men only. The very fact that we slightly shudder, whether we admit it or not, when we hear the command, “Wives, summit to you husbands” is proof that the curse is 100% accurate. It is our godly roles to submit, yet it is our flesh that makes that submission seem wrong. The feminists regard the bible as total anti-woman, and to a woman that God has not done a working in, it is just that. We often find ourselves singing in the recesses of our minds the child song that goes like this, “Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you.” We so often take this approach with the roles of men and women.

God has already put so much on our plates. The woman describe in Proverbs is not only a virtuous one, but a very busy one. Being a keeper of the home has been portrayed to be an occupation that should cause shame, an occupation that portrays women as inferior but it is not. It has been portrayed falsely, due to our fallen natures. Any woman who keeps her house, raises her children, feeds them, clothes them, cares for her husband is anything but idle. It is an occupation that we should embrace and find delight in simply because it is what God ordained us to do. However, this occupation is also not the only one that a woman is “allowed” to have. Far be it from anyone to say that a working woman is a sinful woman. Who are we to judge the ones who God has already accepted? As Romans 14:3 puts it, “The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him.” If a woman who works primarily fulfills the godly calling of womanhood, by all means, let not the one who doesn’t judge her. The fact still remains that home keeping is our first priority and God ordained occupation. We were created to be helpers, to be keepers, to be virtuous, and to fear the Lord.

This calling does not make us inferior or menial. Rather, we are helpers, subordinate assistants who, as Matthew Henry so eloquently put it:

“was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him; but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”

Having and Enjoying A Bold, Cross-Centered Life

2008-03-16T20:45:00.000-07:00

The doors of Baton Rough Magnet High School open at the ringing of the bell. Over a thousand students tumble in, awaiting a new year of excitement, challenges, relationships, and hard work. I walk through the halls, virtually the same person who walked out of those same doors only three months earlier. I am then hit with the question I’ve been waiting to answer, praying to answer correctly, “So, what did you do this summer?”

Usually that question would be answered by the simple statements regarding trips to the movies, the mall, hanging out with countless amounts of friends, and going out of the state a couple of times. Only, this year is a different year. This summer, instead, I basked in the joy of living a cross-saturated, cross-centered life. So, how would I answer this question this year? Wouldn’t I like to know? It has become extremely easy to live such a life during the summer, only being surrounded by people who are pursuing and living the same life. Now, going back to an environment where that life will be extremely difficult to exhibit, can I still sustain and pursue it? The Bible says yes, I can.

Boldness is a virtue that isn’t easy to develop. There are countless examples of boldness in the Bible, examples that we all can use to further ourselves along in a world contrary to our Savior. One of my favorites of these accounts is that of Stephen. Stephen was a devout man of God, a passionate man of God who proclaimed the gospel and shouted it to all who would listen. This passion and zeal would soon be the cause of his horrific demise. Stephen spoke with such power and authority, which was only given to him by the grace of God, power and authority that could not be dismissed by those who sought to shut him up. The Sanhedrin knew very well that Stephen was not a blasphemer as some claimed, yet because of the hardness of their unbelieving hearts, they searched out for more who would falsely claim the same.

Finally being questioned by the Sanhedrin, Stephen begins a lengthy discourse that boldly and passionately conveys the redemptive work of Christ and unashamedly proclaims that they had placed Him there upon it. At those words the people stoned a righteous and devout man who only relentlessly sought after the furtherance of the saving gospel of Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I like to think that Stephen had to have known what his speech would produce. Even though he was well aware of what man could do, he was even more aware of what Christ had done and concluded that Christ being preached was worth much more than his own life.

We all are well aware of the opposition we’ll likely face when living in this world. It’s impossible for opposition to not arise. When two things, totally different, are flowing together, disruption and dissension are bound to occur sooner or later. Not only are we aware, but we are forewarned. In John 15:20, Christ Himself warns us of what will happen if we chose to follow Him. “No servant is greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also.” We have chosen to follow a persecuted and condemned man. Why should we not expect the same? Are we any better than He whom we follow? By no means! Our Savior went through complete hell to redeem His people and we dare to shy away from proclaiming His word? Shame on us…shame on me.

So, the question arises. What should I do? What should we do? Many things will contribute to the growth of our boldness of faith in Christ Jesus. First, we pray…and pray…and pray…oh and pray, as fervently and continuously as we possibly can. Only God can grant us the spiritual things we desire and praise God that we desire spiritual and godly things. Though, we shouldn’t boast because it is only Christ in us who produces these desires. Second, we should study God’s word and appreciate its worth in our walk on sanctification highway. As John Piper put it, “There is no book like the Christian Bible - divinely inspired, infallible, and authoritative. You have in your Bible the very words of the Creator and Redeemer of the universe. Christ died to confirm them and make it possible for sinners to understand them and embrace them.” Lastly, we should practice. Practice…that meaning? Who ever gets better at a sport if they never practiced? If I never practiced the piano, would I ever grow in skill? It isn’t enough for me to sit in front of the piano and wish that I were a better player. It takes me sitting and taking the time to learn and play a piece over and over again to ever acquire more skill. There is no difference when it comes to being bold in the gospel. It isn’t enough for me to sit and watch the wickedness of this world consume all the ones I love around me. Practicing boldness is the only way to acquire more boldness.

If I want to be a better artist, I must draw more. If I want to be a better basketball shooter, I must practicing shooting. If I want to be a better evangelist, then I must evangelize more. Evangelism is effective, no doubt. It just isn’t the only way we as Christians evangelize to the world around us. As a great friend pointed out to me, “We should live a life that represents Christ in our actions as well as our words.” What good is it if I talk big and don’t walk the same way? We’ve all heard the saying before, and I’ll use it again. “Talk is cheap.” Talk is cheap. In any case, if I profess Christ with my words and live contrary to what I say, I make it all the more difficult for those around me to ever accept Christ. Before I became a Christian, I saw the same kinds of misleading. I saw professing Christians doing ungodly things and that gives off the impression that when you’re a Christian, you can do anything you want and never reap any repercussions…we all know the “once saved always saved” excuse. It’s completely accurate, once we’re saved, we’re always saved. As Christ proclaims in John 6:39, “And this is the will of Him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that He has given me, but raise them up at the last day”, and as Paul says in Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”.

It’s true everybody! We can do anything we want and not lose our salvation because of it. It’s completely true so let’s all just eat, drink, and be merry! No. While in a context, that is true, it isn’t fully accurate. Although we can do anything we want to do, if we are truly in Christ Jesus, we will not desire to do what we formerly wanted to do. If we are genuine believers, we won’t desire to sin and sin just because we can, in a sense, get away with it. When we truly are in Christ Jesus, our desires and passions will change. We will seek to glorify God completely and desire to lower ourselves that we may lift the crucified and resurrected Christ higher and higher. We will find ourselves humble as we cling to the cross of our magnificent Savior and Lord. I find that the closer I am to the cross of Christ, the further I am from my pride and self-importance. By desiring to be bold in the gospel of Jesus Christ, we are committing ourselves to glorify God in doing so. The only catch is that my life must be completely and utterly cross-centered and cross-saturated. Not only must it be, but I will, we will, desire for it to be.

I pray for each and every one of us the same prayers that Paul prayed, that we “may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ”, that we not be, “ashamed to testify about our Lord…but join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God”, and that we echo Paul in saying, “I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.” And why should we not be ashamed? As Paul says in Romans 1:16, “I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.” I am beyond reproach of myself and the countless other believers who remain silent when the gospel of Christ and Him crucified is being blasphemed and ridiculed. The gospel is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes. How will these people believe? They will believe by hearing. How will they hear? They will hear by the mouths of the believers who are dedicated to the same passion that Stephen was dedicated to: relentlessly seeking after the furtherance of the saving gospel of Jesus Christ and Him crucified. May we all embrace that which has saved us and boldly and unashamedly proclaim it to all who will hear, for it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.

The Holy Healing Hem

2008-03-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

She was a desperate sight to look upon. Dirty from head to toe, her disarrayed clothing barely clung to her sickly physique. She seemed far too thin to be able to sustain life, almost as if she breathed too deeply, her lungs would burst into millions of fleshy pieces. Her hair was knotted into an unkempt mane with a mixture of sand and mud for adornment. If ever her eyes were to meet yours, you were forced to quickly avert your own, the pain orated in hers too immense to observe indifferently.

She had been afflicted with an unknown illness for twelve years. Once being a wealthy young woman, she had exhausted every means to be healed, or at least diagnosed. The apparel she wore was now the only apparel she owned. Beautiful garments of violets and indigos, exquisite assortments of rubies, diamonds, and pearls, all she once possessed were far gone now. She had spent them all, depleted her vast commodities, and all to no avail. Scores upon scores of doctors observed her, having no resolution to speak of. Each time with new hope she visited one after another. The appointments would always begin so promising but time and time again, she would be turned away with roads of cleanliness paved upon her putrid face from endless and wretched tears. Left completely destitute, she had given up any hope of ever being released from her lasting affliction. Being declared unclean, she was unable to live with her own. Even if she was able, she would never condemn herself to the treatment entitled to her. She could almost envision the disdainful scrutiny awaiting. It was better to writhe alone, the physical she could endure, but anything more would be too much.

Sitting under a tree, shading herself from the overbearing sun, she was experiencing a pain more intense than ever. Onlookers watched as she rose and screamed in unbearable torment. Gripping at her stomach, she plummeted onto the dusty ground under her worn feet. After the episode died down, she weakly inclined to lie where she was. Unconcerned, the others turned away, their attention being diverted towards something else. It was a massive crowd that was approaching slowly. In half consciousness, the woman heard an explanation of the monstrous spectacle coming up the road. It seemed to be the Man that people were hearing great things about, the Man who had performed miracles on all sorts of people. He had even cast out demons from a man the day before. Too weak to rise, she simply watched as the crowd walked past her.

Then the old thoughts began to mount in her heart. Perhaps this One would be the One to heal me, she thought. There was no sense in not giving this Man a try too. She resolved that there was really nothing more to lose, but everything to gain, her life. Still, she faced the problem of standing. It was far out of her ability to do such a thing, yet in desperation for healing, she crawled, crawling with such determination and amazing persistence, eager to catch the Man before He was too far to reach. She finally advanced to the first row of feet in the crowd. Limb through limb, weaving her way through scores of faceless extremities, she beheld Him. It was at that point, now or never.

“Maybe if I could only touch the hem of His garment, perhaps that would be enough to heal me,” she reasoned. And so she extended her skeletal arm towards the back of His sand-coated garb. Having almost missed her chance, she simply caressed the little that she held. Startled, she quickly freed Him. As if she had eaten some miraculous fruit or swallowed a mystical concoction, strength began to soar and spread through her emaciated body. A sense of stark serenity swept into her sorrowful heart and in that instance she knew that all had been made well. No, not well, well was when something was merely better. She had been made more than well; she was made new, not only revived, but remade. However, her joyfulness was drawn to a crashing halt.

“Who touched My garment?” inquired the Man, turning to the crowd. In His voice, she thought there would be anger but there wasn’t. He didn’t sound as one who had been robbed. Rather, He sounded like one who desired only to see who had taken from Him. Nevertheless, whatever she may have detected in His inquiry, she felt the need to identify herself. After all, she owed Him at least that. With great haste she ran and fell to His feet, hoping for forgiveness. Trembling with fear, she answered Him.

“Lord, it was I who touched Your garment. For twelve tormenting years, Your servant has been stricken with an affliction undiagnosed and unhealed. Once I was one of the wealthiest women on this side of the shore and I depleted every resource I had to heal myself, seeing every physician I could reach, but all to no avail. Then today, I experienced the worst agony I had felt in years. I was completely destitute and desperate, and then You walked by. I had been told of the things You had done and reasoned among myself that You would be my last and only choice. Yet, You were moving much too briskly and I was afraid I would miss my last opportunity. I decided to crawl and I finally found Your garment and stroked it, believing that if I were to merely touch it, I would be healed.” Feeling slightly ridiculous, she continued on. “And…and... well, I was…I was right,” she fumbled, “With one touch, I was made completely healed.”

Looking at her in silent amazement, He turned toward the crowd. “How often do My people exhibit such unbelief?” He cried. “Years and years you all search, seeking healing and satisfaction in things of this world. Only, you never unearth such healing and delight because you look to things on this earth.” Then, turning back toward the woman, He started, “This woman, who had spent twelve years and everything she owned to find healing, looked where such could not be found.” With that, the crowd began to watch her in detest, as if they were all superior to her, she having showed the blasphemous unbelief. “And I see you now, disdainful of her because she did not continue in her unbelief as you do, but has been given a faith far more superior to you all, a faith that acts and not merely follows, for you follow me when all is well, but will you follow me when all you have is lost?”

Turning again toward her, the Man received her lovingly by the hand and helped her to stand. Brushing the wild hair from her filthy face, He softly caressed her and whispered, “Daughter, your faith has made you whole. Go in peace, your suffering is over.”

Sufficiently healed, she kissed His hand and walked away in genuine jubilance, telling all who would listen what the Man had done. A long life she lived and never did she let a day go by where she did not tell of the Man’s grace. Sadly, her life was destined for an end, but even through her death, she proclaimed the way to true life. Her self-written tombstone remained a testimony for all in her country and continues to be to this day.

“Faith without feet falls, yet true faith without feet crawls.”

The Leprous Heart

2008-03-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

“Unclean! Unclean,” I cried out from my lowly state. Sitting in the company of trash and waste, surrounded by the prolific flies whose main objective was to eat my leprous flesh bare, I cried out in utter agony. My life had diminished to this horrendous position of nonexistence. I was simply a leper, unfit for society, unworthy in the eyes of all. I barely knew how to stand anymore. Rarely did I ever rise from my prostrated posture. My knees had become battered to the very marrow. If ever I chanced upon a desire to move, I crawled, too ashamed to rise and walk, revealing my hideous frame for men and women to scoff at and for children to mock. I had nothing else in this world, or any hope of restoration for the next.

I had heard some talk of a new man that had come to town. He was supposedly a gifted miracle worker, some sort of enlightened prophet. I didn’t believe any of it. Religion had become thoroughly nonsensical in my wearied eyes. It was nothing more than a desperate attempt to somehow please a God who had no care for the world that He supposedly created. It was nothing more than a con, a way to plunder money from widowed women and orphaned children. That’s what religion had become and I completely cut myself off from such wickedness.

What had caused so much bitterness in a leper like me? I hadn’t always been that way. I was a man who worked relentlessly to provide for my family, to support my ailing wife and consumptive daughter. Every night like clockwork I fell to me knees, begging my merciful God to heal my family. They only grew worse. My daughter could no longer open her eyes, too weak to make such a strain. Lying next to my wife, I could feel her shallow breaths grow more and more hollow. Some nights I was too afraid to sleep, convinced that if I did, I would awaken to a frozen corpse. I held on to faith, Lord did I hold on. Despite my desperate and endless intercessions, this so called God of love, this God of mercy, struck me down with the foulest curse of all. I could forgive Him for making me a leper. I could look past my vexatious sores that engulfed my raw skin and forgive Him. What I found impossible to do was acquit Him for the death of my poor wife and child. My family had succumbed and withered away, and so had my faith along with them.

“He’s coming! The Christ is coming!” The silent street of leprous victims became restlessly hectic that very moment. My fellow invalids jumped up with new life, eager to meet this Christ. They believed He would heal them but I knew better, the poor fools. I had stumbled down that path before and refused to fall prey to it again. Instead, I slumped back into my hole, indifferent to the urgings of those around me. Soon enough I was alone.

I heard the crowd before I saw them, and what a vast crowd it was. Men, women and children gathered around, smothering each other to see this man who was no more special then you or me. I was no fool. However, I suppose curiosity had taken over, perhaps I was a bit intrigued that such a man could gain so immense a following. I had set my mind to crawl to where they were, but rationale soon stormed back, pride had regained itself and I suddenly remembered my wife and child. Despite the stench that I knew was radiating from my infected area, a comely young man walked up to me. He looked ordinary, not like the angel you or I would expect. He looked like me, before the curse of course. Immediately realizing who He was, I became increasing indignant and turned my back to him.

“Friend, why do you not follow the fellow lepers and come to Me for your healing? Do you not believe?” He asked, genuinely looking concerned, something I had not expected. I was waiting to hear a pompous and arrogant young fellow, but instead, I could easily read the kindness and love revealed in His sorrowful eyes.

“No sir, I do not,” I replied coldly. “I know your kind. You come with promises and promises, seeming to want to help. I know what you want, and I have nothing to give you. Believe? I lost my faith in your Father when He took away my family. Who could believe in such a monster? You call yourself the Son of God; You’re just as wicked as He is! Leave me be.”

“Your hate has blinded you severely. You no longer see through the faith you once held. You’ve forsaken the promises that My Father– “

“I’ll have no faith in any God who claims love and kills mine. You want me to believe? Give me back my family! Your Father took my wife, Your Father stole my daughter, and Your Father ruined my life. I’m in constant agony, not over this disease, this I disregard, but over what I have lost.”

“What you have lost is much bigger than your wife and child, friend. What you have lost is your faith in God, a faith that your wife and child held on to.”

“How’d you–“

“You have allowed the loss of something you never owned to forfeit something you could never lose. It was never your body that was leprous, friend. It was only your heart that had grown as such and your body became a mere indication of what you were within. Your soul had become leprous and your body simply testified to it. I have come to you, not to heal your leprous body, but to heal your leprous heart.”

He had completely read me. I was bare before His eyes. What kind of man was this, that He should know the very cries of my heart? I looked down and gazed at the withered and worn skin, covered in sores, pink with rawness. I was not looking at my skin; I was peering inside at my heart, a heart that had grown vile with hate and bitterness. It was not I who was owed some sort of debt. It was I who was the very debtor! This entire time I was basking in self pity, shaking my fist at God when I should have shaken it at myself. I strained to believe His words but I couldn’t. What was holding me from believing, why could I not believe again? I could not let go of the hatred I had held for so long.

“On your own, My friend, you cannot let go, you cannot believe. Trust in Me, trust My Father’s promises, believe His words. You have lost, but do not allow this loss to forfeit your life.”

“I want to believe Lord, help my unbelief.” Ashamedly, I looked down again. I nearly fainted. The skin I had grown accustomed to had become something I hadn’t seen in years. No longer was it the sores that feeble dogs mercifully licked. No, it was new; it was changed, transformed even.

Shocked to silence, I attempted to say something, anything. “My skin, You’ve healed–“

“Your skin is not important,” He lovingly interrupted, “It is your heart that has been transformed. You once walked in the way of your blinding sin and anger. You reclined in your trench of despair but now you are a new creature. I beckon you to stand and embark on a new walk. Now, pick up your things, go wash yourself, and follow me.”

“Even if I should have to crawl, my Lord, wherever you go, I will follow.”